It isn't the heat, it's the humidity, I always hear people say.
Which is complete nonsense. It's like falling off a roof and saying "It isn't the fall that hurts, it's hitting the ground." They both play a pretty big part and they both stink, and we're all sweaty and exhausted. So, instead of complaining about it, how do we roll with this punch? We're talking temps over 100 farenheit, my phone homescreen has had a big warning saying "OUTSIDE IS AN OVEN, THE END IS HERE" for like, a week. But, come on, this is the Lake of the Ozarks! We have a huge, cool body of water right there to jump in, we built a whole community around it. And if that's not enough?
Well. That's why you're here. Let's lay out some options.
SO HERE'S THE SCOOP
Man, I love ice cream. Hot take, I know, how could I say something so controversial and brave? In other news, water is wet. Yeah, it's obvious, but it's a classic for a reason. There was once a time when I was just a goofy little kid, eyes full of wonder, and every time I heard the cheap, tinny jingles play from that refrigerated box truck rolling down the street, I'd be filled with excitement and rush out to meet it with my allowance money in hand. But enough about my late 20's.
There are a few great options for a scoop at the Lake, whether you want a waffle cone or a bowl that's way too much and you were excited when you got it but halfway through you start to regret your choices. If you want a cheap and easy fix, there's a Dairy Queen in Camdenton, boom, efficient. Now that that's out of the way, let's get to the interesting stuff.
I myself really enjoyed the cones I've had from Grandpa's Ice Cream down on the Bagnell Dam Strip. It's a cute little spot with a classic, old school kind of vibe, which is kind of the vibe you expect with that name. They've also got homemade pie, which, honestly, I'm a real sucker for that, too. And the titular Grandpa who runs the place seems like a real sweet guy. A nice local business where a happy man sells ice cream, how much more quaint and quintessential Americana can you get?
I mean, look. It's adorable. Great spot for some ice cream. Not much more to say, go cool off with Grandpa and feel like a kid again.
Down in Laurie is Taboo Ice Cream and Grill. The thing about dessert, is that you should always eat your dinner first, and the other thing is that rules are made to be broken, that one especially. But, if you wanna behave like your mama raised you, you can get a fantastic burger and THEN cool off with some ice cream at another fun little local spot. I had a bowl of banana ice cream there and I think I have a new favorite flavor. I'd never thought of banana ice cream as an option, but I saw the monkey on the sign and the banana on the menu, and my primitive primate brain said "Ooh! Banana!" It was the right call. I have yet to try it as a banana split, but it's on my list, and I guess I'll find out if there's such a thing as too much banana.
They've also got a location in Eldon, if you're out that way.
Finally, you know I've got to bring up a Missouri classic- Andy's Frozen Custard. They're everywhere in this state, and they aren't exactly woven into the Lake identity, but ya know what? It tastes good, it's cold, and you can snag it on the go.
So there we are on some frozen treat ideas. I scream, you scream, we both get a ticket for disturbing the peace, moving on.
HAVE A SPLASH
Let's move on to something for the kids, because you know the ice cream is only gonna keep them happy until they've finished eating the cone. This one isn't JUST for the kids, though, featuring a wave pool, a lazy river, and tons of water slides, because adults are allowed to have fun, too.
Super Splash USA is a relatively new addition to the Lake, having taken over the park that was once known as Big Surf and putting up a whole lot of red white and blue. Twenty acres of park, with more than nine large attractions, you can easily kill a full day there.
It's open 10-6 every day this month, and most of next month. There's plenty of time to get in there and enjoy yourself to beat back some of this heat. Personally, I'll always recommend a good lazy river. All I can really ask for is to float around in cool water while nobody bothers me, it doesn't get much better. It's a little bit late for a season pass, but day tickets are worth it.
LET'S TALK ABOUT THE POOL BARS
What are we really doing here? We're the Lake of the Ozarks, what are we really known for if not the killer lake bars in all the best coves? And the cream of the crop have pools. All the heavy hitters- Redheads High Tide has an awesome pool, Lake Burger has a lazy river and slides, and you should see the one at Backwater Jacks, it's HUGE, with a big platform above providing shade.
Today I'm going to recommend one I've had a ton of fun at with family, and that's the Cave Bar and Grill. Two pools, an adults only area, live music, great food. Let's not forget the namesake, either- an actual cave. They took a real, naturally formed cave and put a whole swimming pool inside with a sand beach.
And, it's right on the water with a view of one of the bridges. Real eye-candy.
The Cave is right off the road between Camdenton and Greenview, easy to find, great spot, with the cave right in the side of the bluff.
That's just one of many, though. The kids will have a great time playing in the pool, you'll have a great time cooling off and having some good food/responsibly consumed cocktails, everyone wins. There's a reason these lake bars are what the Lake is kind of known for, aside from boating. Like the local pubs in Europe, they're a big part of the community, where people gather, have fun, have a bite to eat, and have a great time. It's more than just beating the heat, it's a way to feel like a part of the Lake culture and lifestyle, it's connecting with your neighbors. So, go have fun. And save me a drink.
OR, THE CLASSIC ALTERNATIVE
Sometimes, it's just a bit too hot to go outside. We have AC for a reason, and it's nice to have a safe, comfortable place to do your cooling off. The best thing you can have at the lake is a home that's just as much of a tranquil paradise as the lake itself, a home you don't need a vacation from.
That's where we come in. If you want to find the ideal place for you here at the lake, just contact us and we can make that dream a reality.
Good luck out there, friend. It's... It's a real scorcher. And remember to have fun.
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